Hurt
by TheUSofCalzona
Summary: The hardest thing in the world was not letting the child inside of her have life. But she knew it was the right thing. She and Ron would never forget the hurt they felt when Hermione laid on the table and was cast in a blue glow.


Hermione was sitting on one of the couches in the common room. She had a cup of warm tea in her hands. She looked into the fire and closed her eyes. 6th year was almost done, tests were over and she knew she did well. But she had something on her mind, something big. It was late and she knew she should go to bed but she was waiting for Ron to get back from his detention with Snape, they had to talk, she had to tell him.

Ron walked into the common room and saw Hermione sitting on the couch. It was late and he knew if she was up it was because she needed to talk to him. He walked over to the couch and sat down, took her hand and gave her a quick kiss.

"Hey." Ron could see that something was heavy on Hermione's mind.

"We need to talk." The way Hermione spoke scared Ron. He had never seen that look in her eyes before; it was as if she was beaten.

"You're not breaking up with me are you?" Ron asked turning to face her. Hermione turned her head and shook it no. Ron could see the tears in her eyes and knew something big was going on.

"Ron I have tried to tell you this a few times but I couldn't find the words. Please don't be mad at me." Ron gave Hermione a small smile and nodded for her to go on. "I'm pregnant."

Hermione turned to face back to the fire and started crying. Ron just sat there. He and Hermione had only been together since her birthday and only starting sleeping together in the last 4 months. Ron pulled Hermione flush against him. He kissed her and hugged her tightly.

"I love you." Ron said into Hermione's hair not knowing what else to say to her.

"I love you too." Hermione said back. She closed her eyes and just let herself feel him close to her.

Hermione pulled away from Ron and looked down. "There are only 3 things we really can do, keep the baby, adoption and abortion." Hermione said her voice full of emotion. "I can't carry the baby to term and give it away; I'm just not that strong. So I really think there are only two things we can do." Hermione said looking at her hands.

Ron nodded his head in agreement. He didn't want to talk about the other one but he knew that he had too. He looked at Hermione; she was scared he could tell by the way she sat. Her shoulders were slumped and her eyes held back her tears once again.

"Do you want to end the pregnancy?" Ron asked in a soft voice. Hermione closed her eyes.

"Yes, no, I don't know. I want this to go away; I want it to be a dream. I love you Ron, so much it hurts, but I'm . . . we're 16 for Christ sake. We can't do this; we're not ready for this." Hermione said not looking away from the fire. "The worst part is I dreamed of this for so long. I always wanted to have your baby; but when we were ready. I don't want to end this Ron but I don't think I can do it either. I don't want you to hate me."

Hermione looked at Ron straight in the eyes. Her eyes had so much pain in them; Ron couldn't help but held her a little tighter. Ron knew how Hermione felt, this was all he wanted but the timing was about 5 years off.

"I wouldn't hate you if you ended it Hermione." Ron said with such passion in his voice that Hermione started to cry again. She just let him hold her until the tears stopped flowing.

"We could keep it." Hermione hear herself say. She wanted this baby but she knew she was far from ready.

"That would be a very hard road Hermione. I'm not saying I don't want this baby, Merlin I do but either way it's hard." Ron said. His eyes showed the pain his heart felt.

"Our parents would raise it. We couldn't have it at school and I don't know what they would say. My parents would be so mad at me. Mum talked to me about waiting and not being the kind of girl this happens too, slut I believe is what she said." Hermione said turning a little pink.

"Hermione looked at me." Ron lifted her chin. "You aren't a slut." Hermione nodded her head and then looked away. "I can't tell you what to do with your body, I don't have that right. I will love you and stand next to you no matter what. I swear to you no matter what one day we will be married and have a family." Ron had a raw voice as he spoke.

"This just might be one of those things e do and hate that we did it but it's the right thing. I want to have your baby Ron but I'm not ready now." Ron looked into Hermione eyes. He nodded and held out his arms. Hermione held him as they both cried.

"Tomorrow we can go talk to Madam Pomfrey." Hermione said her voice drained.

"You're sure this is what you want?" Ron asked; his voice free of a judging tone.

"I don't want it but yes this is what I'm going to do. Are you alright with it?" Hermione asked looking at him.

"It's one of the things that I know is right even if it hurts." Ron said closing his eyes.

"We going to get threw this right? It won't be strange and we will still be us?" Hermione asked moving her head so it was on Ron's chest.

"I don't know Mione. I know that I love you and that I will try to make sure that I let you know that, I know that this is going to hurt in more ways than one, I know that aspects of your relationship will change, I know I will never hold this against you but that's all I know." Ron said holding Hermione

"Can we still sleep together, and I do mean sleep together? I think I'm a little addicted to that." Hermione asked.

"Yes I think I am too. Hermione we don't have to for as long as you don't want to. I know this is going to be hard on your body and I don't want you to push yourself." Ron tried to sound as sure as he could.

"I love being with you like that; I am going to miss it. I am going to start muggle pill when I get home, so much for that spell." Hermione let out a small laugh.

"You still want me to go with you to your house this summer?" Ron asked playing with her hair.

"Yes, I want us to still be us Ron." Hermione said looking up at Ron. Ron and Hermione didn't talk for a long time. Hermione just paid attention to the beating of Ron's heart. Ron just played with Hermione hair. His mind kept going back to one question and he couldn't stop himself from asking.

"Marry me?" Ron asked. His words broke the silence.

"No. Ron I can't not until this is over and we know we are still ok. I'm sorry." Ron just kissed the top of Hermione's head and smiled.

"It's ok. I knew it was a long shot but I didn't want you to think I didn't want to." Ron said. He wanted Hermione to say yes but he understood why she had to say no.

"Can we go to bed?" Hermione asked. Ron nodded and they walked to his room. The next afternoon they sat in Madam Pomfrey's office.

"Well Miss Granger I would have thought you would be the last one to come to me but you are not the first in your family Mr. Weasley." Madam Pomfrey said looking at the two students. "Miss Granger lay down on the bed and you will be out of here in a moment."

Hermione lay on a bed and Madam Pomfrey waved her wand over her, Hermione turned blue for a moment than back to normal.

"You will feel sick for a day and then be back to normal. No activities for 2 weeks." Madam Pomfrey gave Hermione some parchment. "This is a potion that I have given all the Weasley boy and Miss Weasley. I suggest you start using this once a day." Madam Pomfrey gave them a small smile and left.

"Ginny and Harry are sleeping together?" Ron asked after they left.

"For about a month, don't kill him Ron." Hermione said biting her lip.

"No I just guess it surprised me is all. Harry is good for her; she's good for him too. After he won the war he needed someone." Ron said.

As soon as Ron and Hermione were in Ron's room he pulled Hermione into a tight hug.

"I'm sorry baby." He whispered into her ear. They both cried as they hugged each other.

"I'm ok, it didn't hurt really." Hermione said sitting down on Ron's bed. "I could use a nap though." Hermione said.

"Want me to lay with you?" Hermione nodded, Ron lay next to Hermione hoping putting his arms around her might held the ache in his heart. He loved her more than anything and just wanted her to be ok. They slept until dinner time. They were no more classes or test and they were going home the next day.

"Can I tell Ginny? I kind of need a girl to talk too." Hermione said as they walked down to dinner.

"Sure, I wanted to ask about talking to Harry anyway." Ron had his arm around Hermione and they walked into the Great Hall.

They were only a few students eating when Hermione and Ron sat down. They didn't talk much during dinner but held hands the whole time.

"I'm going to find Ginny, meet me at 7 in the library?" Hermione asked. Ron nodded his head and went to find Harry.

Harry and Ron were flying and talking. Ron had told Harry everything that had happened. Harry let Ron vent and yell and let everything out.

"I was almost a dad Harry." Ron said after not talking for a moment.

"You were Ron and you will be a dad one day. You and Hermione couldn't handle this right now." Ron nodded his head and they didn't speck anymore. Hermione was sitting at what first year became her table. It was all the way in the back and only sat about 4 people.

Ron kissed Hermione cheek and sat down. "Good talk with Ginny?" Ron asked trying not to push her.

"Yes it was. Ginny's a great friend. She helped me a lot. How did your talk with Harry go?" Hermione turned her head to Ron.

"Good, he helped too." Ron took Hermione's hand in his. "Hermione you know I still am in love with you. I can see it in your eyes, you're scared that that's not true but it is." Ron pulled Hermione to his lap.

"I know but I just keep thinking about the what if's." Hermione said not looking at Ron.

"I do too." Ron just held Hermione, she wasn't crying on the outside but Ron knew she was on the inside.

Ron and Hermione didn't see each other again until it was time for Ron to visit the Granger's. He would spend 3 weeks and they would go back to school together. He missed seeing and holding her, talking to her and picking and getting picked on by her.

Hermione answered the door and jumped into Ron's arms when she saw who it was.

"Ron I missed you so much." Hermione started to cry. Ron just held her and let her hold him.

"Merlin Hermione I missed you too." Hermione and Ron broke apart when Mrs. Granger walked into the room.

"Mum this is Ron Weasley, I'm sure you remember him." Hermione said turning as red as Ron did.

"Yes Ron it's nice to see you. Forgive me for not giving you the welcome Hermione did but my husband might object." Hermione started to laugh and so did Ron. They walked into the kitchen.

"Hermione take Ron to the guest room, I will finish lunch." Mrs. Granger said. Hermione nodded her head and took Ron's head.

She led Ron up the steps and into a nice blue room. She once again hugged Ron tightly.

"4 weeks is far too long without being able to hold you." Hermione said placing a kiss on Ron's tee-shirt.

"It is about 4 weeks too long. I missed you Hermione, and not just touching you, but talking and fighting and everything else. How is everything?" Hermione got the meaning Ron was trying to get across.

"Fine, everything is back to normal." Hermione said pulling Ron tighter.

"We don't have to anymore Hermione. I just wanted to make sure you were ok." Ron turned a little red again.

"You know we will. We are too good at it to stop it. I have been taking that potion everyday and the pill, this time we will be fine." Hermione turned to face up to look at Ron.

"Good I don't think I could give that up, but I would try for you." Ron smiled at Hermione.

"My boyfriend would give up sex for me, now there is a new one." Hermione laughed. "I know what you mean, one day Ron one day." Hermione and Ron had not shaded a real kiss in almost 5 weeks. Ron stopped smiling and brought his lips down on Hermione's. She opened her mouth and her tongue went into Ron's mouth. It might have been the best kiss they had ever had. Ron broke the kiss and smiled again

"Forget what I said we are never giving that up." Ron said trying to catch his breath; Hermione just grinned back.

"Good because I don't think I could fight with you knowing we don't get to make up." Hermione pulled Ron close to her again. "Ok the quick tour, this is going to be your room, Mum and Dad's room is 2 floors down and my room is 3 doors down, bathroom is next to my room." Hermione showed Ron the door where the bathroom and her room but they didn't go in.

"Hermione, Ron lunch is ready." Mrs. Granger called up the stairs. Hermione took Ron's hand and they walked into the kitchen. Ron and Hermione sat down at the table. Mrs. Granger handed Ron and Hermione a plate with a pot pie on it.

"Thank you." Ron said as he started eating. "That was very good Mrs. Granger." Ron said as he finished.

"Thank you Ron." Hermione's mother smiled at Ron. "So any dirt about Hermione from school you can tell me?" Mrs. Granger smiled. "Missing homework, skipping classes anything like that?"

"Oh yeah all the time, I really don't know how she even passes." Ron grinned; Hermione hit Ron's shoulder before laughing.

"Just for that I'm not helping you this year." Hermione smiled at Ron.

"Mione don't say that, I would fail without you." Ron gave her puppy dog eyes. Hermione just rolled her eyes.

"Hermione I have to go I have a few teeth to pull. You father won't be home until late, I might beat him home in fact. Dinner's made all you have to do is heat it." Hermione hugged her mum and she was gone.

Hermione took Ron's hand and they walked in and sat down on the couch. Ron put his arms around Hermione.

"I missed this Ron, just seeing you." Hermione said turning a little pink.

"I missed this too. I'm glad I'm here, your mum is really nice and a great cook." Ron placed a kiss on Hermione neck.

"She is. Just when Dad gets here he will try to be all protective but give him a chance." Hermione moved her head letting Ron kiss her neck some more.

Ron turned Hermione around so she was sitting on his lap. Hermione put her head on Ron's shoulder.

"This is nice." Hermione said looking up at Ron.

"It is. Love you." Ron said.

"Love you to Ron." Hermione smiled up at Ron and then kissed him.

"This feels better than it did before. I know things aren't the same as they were but I think that this is stronger than it was. I love you more now, I see you more clearly now, I want you more." Ron said holding Hermione close to him.

"I think after everything we came threw better than before." Ron moved his hand under Hermione's shirt resting it on her flat abdomen.

"One day we will be sitting on the couch at our house just like this, you will be pregnant, and the baby will kick for the first time, I will put my hand just like it is now and feel it." Ron kissed Hermione's temple.

"I want that. I want that so much it hurts." Hermione breathed in Ron's scent. Ron kissed Hermione again. He was pouring his heart out to her in the kiss. Hermione was breathless when they pulled apart. Ron put his forehead against Hermione's.

She knew the next time he filled her with his seed and a child was created it would be born into this world. The hardest thing in the world was not letting the child inside of her have life. But she knew it was the right thing. She and Ron would never forget the hurt they felt when Hermione laid on the table and was cast in a blue glow. But almost 5 years to the day after that they would never forget the joy of holding their first child in their arms.


End file.
